current mood: discontent
current song: Champagne Supernova - Oasis
Annnnnd I'm ok. Again.
Thanks to belledewinter and biting_moopie for trying to see what was wrong, and Courtney for talking to me on msn. Good to know some people out there care, eh? I think I just snapped - I've been doing this a lot lately, every few weeks I'll just cry for hours, I won't be able to stop shaking and I'll probably do some other stupid things that I won't say. What I normally "do", which I know is bad and that I shouldn't do it, releases it all, really. I'll feel like I have control and that I have complete power over how I feel and what exactly my mind is doing (when everyone knows that it's not possible). For the next few days I'll feel almost free in a way, like suddenly there's other things I can think about instead. Like I'm not going to let it get the best of me. Too bad that isn't true.
I don't know what I'm going to do about the situation that I created. It's my fault, the other guys aren't too blame. I'm not sure if he's still angry/hurt/jealous/whatever, or if he's going to forgive me. I hope he does, he's a good guy. As for the other...that's all up in the air. I don't really know what to do about any of it. I guess I'll just wait.
I think I found my car. I only need $700 more for it, and I just rang my mum to tell her about it and I think she may loan me the extra money to get it, or for Xmas. I like it! It's green so I can call it Gumby. Initially I wanted a yellow car to call it Spongebob, but I'm ok with green.
For some reason I'm getting uber excited about going back to blonde. As someone who's been blonde, brown, black, reddish brown, brownish black, bright red and dark red, I can say blonde is the best! It's just such a far more happier and lively colour, and it's the colour of summer, we live in Australia for God's sake, so therefore blonde is the answer.
As for what to do this weekend...I'm not really sure. I was invited to Casey's birthday by the girls, but I don't really know her all that well so I doubt I'll go there. Jake and Alfy are setting up on Sunday morning, so I won't be doing anything with them. Though Alfy did mention she's going to Peta's place (I think that's the one?) Saturday night, and me and Jake are welcome to come lol. Apparently we're "part of the family" now. Shucks XD I was thinking about giving Elle and Rach a call, I haven't seen them in soooo long! But I'm not sure if I'm up to seeing their brother/cousin, lol.