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naughtyhermione [userpic]

(no subject)

December 4th, 2008 (02:47 pm)

current mood: discontent
current song: Champagne Supernova - Oasis

Annnnnd I'm ok. Again.

Thanks to  belledewinter  and biting_moopie for trying to see what was wrong, and Courtney for talking to me on msn. Good to know some people out there care, eh? I think I just snapped - I've been doing this a lot lately, every few weeks I'll just cry for hours, I won't be able to stop shaking and I'll probably do some other stupid things that I won't say. What I normally "do", which I know is bad and that I shouldn't do it, releases it all, really. I'll feel like I have control and that I have complete power over how I feel and what exactly my mind is doing (when everyone knows that it's not possible). For the next few days I'll feel almost free in a way, like suddenly there's other things I can think about instead. Like I'm not going to let it get the best of me. Too bad that isn't true.

I don't know what I'm going to do about the situation that I created. It's my fault, the other guys aren't too blame. I'm not sure if he's still angry/hurt/jealous/whatever, or if he's going to forgive me. I hope he does, he's a good guy. As for the other...that's all up in the air. I don't really know what to do about any of it. I guess I'll just wait.

I think I found my car. I only need $700 more for it, and I just rang my mum to tell her about it and I think she may loan me the extra money to get it, or for Xmas. I like it! It's green so I can call it Gumby. Initially I wanted a yellow car to call it Spongebob, but I'm ok with green.

For some reason I'm getting uber excited about going back to blonde. As someone who's been blonde, brown, black, reddish brown, brownish black, bright red and dark red, I can say blonde is the best! It's just such a far more happier and lively colour, and it's the colour of summer, we live in Australia for God's sake, so therefore blonde is the answer.

As for what to do this weekend...I'm not really sure. I was invited to Casey's birthday by the girls, but I don't really know her all that well so I doubt I'll go there. Jake and Alfy are setting up on Sunday morning, so I won't be doing anything with them. Though Alfy did mention she's going to Peta's place (I think that's the one?) Saturday night, and me and Jake are welcome to come lol. Apparently we're "part of the family" now. Shucks XD I was thinking about giving Elle and Rach a call, I haven't seen them in soooo long! But I'm not sure if I'm up to seeing their brother/cousin, lol.

naughtyhermione [userpic]

(no subject)

November 22nd, 2008 (11:42 pm)

fuck fuck!

im fuckein sick of being good enough for one thing but not good enough for another
 want this to stop i fuckeing hate it i nede help

naughtyhermione [userpic]

(no subject)

November 20th, 2008 (11:04 am)

current mood: bored
current song: Expectations - Belle and Sebastian

Need a Beatles poster/wall mount for my room. POST HASTE.

Perhaps Sanity has one. I shall look today before I start work this afternoon. Or Kmart? Also looking for a Joker poster. I know they have them at Sanity, but they've been sold out for like two months! Ack.

WTF I don't even have all the Beatles songs on my computer! I fail.

Urrrgh. Really don't want to go to work. Wasn't meant to work today, but I had to cover Jake's shift. Something about how he has to graduate. Graduation pfft. Not that important. So now it's me and all the new people on close tonight. Oh joy. And we're meant to be finished by 10? Yeah right. We'll probably finish at 11, Josh and Emma aren't working tonight either, Alfy goes home at 8. Poo. I'm not gonna ask Anita for a lift home tonight, because I know we won't finish on time so it'd be unfair for her to wait. Looks like I'm walking home tonight then. I'll keep a knife in my bag just in case.

naughtyhermione [userpic]

(no subject)

November 19th, 2008 (10:20 pm)

current mood: tired
current song: The Lightening Strike - Snow Patrol

There's a storm outside. Just flashes and a rumble every now and then. It's funny because I started playing this song, then it started.

Max is behind me on the rug growling at the storm. He was asleep on the opposite side of the room but he's come over to protect me from the big old bad storm. Awww.

New header, Gossip Girl. Faaaantastic.

Going to Laker's on Saturday night with Jake, Alfy, Bec, Ally and Lisa. Don't particularly like Ally, Lisa's on and off girlfriend. But I suppose it'll be good seeing Lisa again. Plus I always have a good time with Jake, Alfy and Bec. Jake and Alfy went nuts today when I mentioned I might be moving to Melbourne soon, ha. Somehow I don't think my mum is gonna let me, but at the moment I feel like a geographical change is exactly what I need right now.

I'm also going back to blonde for summer again. I think I just prefer being blonde - it really is more fun! Definitely my favourite. All the others have just been too bleh and boring for me. Seriously if I had it my own way I'd have crazy multicoloured hair. Will be getting some foils on Saturday, and some bathers? Yeeeeah.

naughtyhermione [userpic]

(no subject)

November 18th, 2008 (08:38 pm)

current mood: indescribable
current song: Closer - Kings of Leon

My zombie dreams are back, baby. My dreams are all resembling horror movies except they're not scary at all, because it's like I'm the scary monster or I know how it ends. Strange.

This song kills me to no end. I really shouldn't listen to it. But it's goooood.

I have a face mask on so I can barely move my face. Awesome.

I miss Tim. I want to call him and tell him I still want to be friends. I was the one who told him I didn't want to be friends. I told him I never wanted him to ever contact me again. I miss him and I know I'm not getting any better. He was the only person I could really talk to about things. Even though we're not together I'm sure he'd still listen.I think. I haven't cut myself for several weeks but I still drink too much. I think I'm still too angry to talk to him. Why can't I be just happy like normal people? Why do I have to have problems, especially when I don't even know what the problems are or why they're there?

I went driving the other day. Went up to 120, the fastest I've ever driven. Being an L plater, I'm only allowed to go up to 100. It was a 110 zone, so I broke the law twice over. Whoops?

naughtyhermione [userpic]

(no subject)

November 13th, 2008 (11:55 am)

current mood: ditzy
current song: Don't Hold Back - The Chemical Brothers

Went to the Chris Brown and Rihanna concert! It was pretty much awesome. Rihanna is my favourite, I don't really know Chris Brown apart from a few. I love that Rihanna actually had a live band with her, and damn she rocked it! I always thought of her as being pop/RnB, but dang with the live band there was a large amount of rock going on. Some of the songs were quite grungy, I must say. Highlights of her was Shut Up and Drive, Please Don't Stop the Music, Live Your Life, SOS and Unfaithful. Unfaithful was AMAZING. The first song she did, Disturbia, was AWESOME, so I thought I'd give that a mention. The place was pitch black and then all these creepy stuff came up on the screens with freaky noises, and then BOOM! There were all these blasts of fire around the stage and lights and it started. It was awesome with the bum bum de bum (you know the tune) at the end cos the fire was going to the tune of it. She used a fair amount of fire for her show, and every time some people jumped a little and you could really feel the heat of the fire. She closed her show with Umbrella, for which Chris Brown joined her and it became the Cinderella version. Those two are adorable! Hurry up and get married, lol.

That day Charlotte, Kimmy, Laura and myself went to Charlotte and Kimmy's (they're sisters for those playing at home) for a day of pampering in the spa with face masks, pore strips, putting on makeup and all that girly stuff. So without further ado, PHOTOS!

I'm gonna be a shining star, with fancy clothes, a fancy car...Collapse )

Not sure what I'm up to on the weekend. Either doing something with the girls or with Jake, Amanda and Bec, not really sure. Amanda said her mum didn't want anyone over this weekend, which is where we've mainly been the past few weekends. Riding my crimson wave currently, so lol none for Jake this weekend. Actually, I really should message him and let him know that I'm not knocked up. He's been worried about that, lol.

naughtyhermione [userpic]

i won't go back, you must be outta your heeeeaaad

October 28th, 2008 (07:51 pm)

current mood: bouncy
current song: Broken Bones - Birds of Tokyo

Yes, I am alive.

After a lot of tears, misuse of scissors and about 60 panadols, confusion, I'm ok. I can't say if we're ever going to be friends or not - whilst he didn't do anything wrong in particular, he just messed me around too much. I was pretty harsh when I spoke to him on the phone. I said things I didn't mean, things I did mean, and things I did mean but I never thought I'd say. I don't think I care too much now, but I have a feeling all of it is going to catch up with me eventually. Besides, my girls have been great. We're all different ages, 19 (me), 18 (Kim), 17 (Laura), and 16 (Charlotte). But we all really click, and we just get each other. We've put up with all the tears and laughter and drunkeness and tantrums with each other, so we're a great bunch of friends. I love these girls so much, seriously ♥ And they're hot without even trying!

See? Gorgeous! Haha, they're usually naturally pretty girls, lol. I love this photo even though I'm not in it, lol.

And in other news, I deflowered a 17 (almost 18!) year old.

naughtyhermione [userpic]

(no subject)

September 17th, 2008 (03:12 pm)

current mood: crushed


I feel like I'm going to do something really stupid.

naughtyhermione [userpic]

(no subject)

September 12th, 2008 (09:43 pm)

current mood: cheerful
current song: Men in Black - Will Smith

I'm downloading way too much Will Smith at the moment.


naughtyhermione [userpic]

(no subject)

September 10th, 2008 (08:44 pm)

current mood: amused
current song: Unleash the Dragon - Sisqo


Goooood luck with that Sisqo.